When 52-year-old Rosa found that the impacts of the pandemic continued to loom over her, she realized it was time to seek support. Juggling many roles and trying to be strong and supportive for her children, wife, and students, Rosa began to feel isolated as remote work started to take a toll on her. Rosa recalls, “Life was unraveling before my own eyes. I was trying to hold on but not knowing how. I felt like I was slipping.”
When Rosa called the Kaiser Permanente Behavioral Health Department, she was offered resources to try. One was the Center for Healthy Living Stress and Emotional Health workshop, and the other was a therapist outside of Kaiser Permanente. The stress management workshop caught her attention because it was in person and the easiest place to start.
On the day of the workshop, the first thing she noticed was that no one in the room looked like her. “You know that feeling you get when you walk in a room and people don’t quite look like you? And you’re just like, ‘OK, let’s get through this and let’s do this.’”
She recalls feeling, “I’m gonna seem like the angry Black woman when I tell my story.” The workshop was made up of 3 people: Rosa, an older white woman, and a Latina facilitator. Skepticism began to set in. Rosa said, “I was going off more of the Black population, where we always [think], hey, you don’t need to talk to anybody, you just need to pray about this thing.” All within seconds, these thoughts based on generational beliefs and lived experience began bombarding her mind.
Rosa remembers thinking, “OK, I’ll try this because the way we grow up as a culture … as African Americans, everything is about praying about it. And you don’t need to go sit on no white man’s sofa to have them evaluate who you are.” Despite the narrative in her mind, she coached herself to stay in the workshop. And, she found the written exercises, sharing out loud, and feedback from the facilitator helpful. Later at home, Rosa revisited her responses in the workshop guide and realized there were some things she could change to help her manage her stress and that the workshop had been valuable after all.
That had been Rosa’s first time using a Kaiser Permanente resource other than visiting a doctor. She recalled that the act of taking the first step and being in the workshop felt liberating.
“It’s something that I wasn’t taught to go against, and so I felt liberated in a sense, and I felt like, you know, reaching out using these resources can help. I knew what I was doing wasn’t helping.”
Rosa had reached a point of desperation that led her to try anything, even if meant going against ingrained perceptions. As a result of taking this initiative, Rosa discovered a new world. “It was a door to open up for other things that may help, and that, I think, is the biggest takeaway.” Rosa went on to participate in a unique Black, Indigenous, People of Color Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction pilot program offered in San Diego.
Rosa’s journey demonstrates bravery to acknowledge the suffering she was experiencing, tearing down the stigmas of mental health support she was taught or observed growing up, and dismantling the belief of needing to be a superhero for everyone else. Instead, Rosa chose to seek support and offer herself compassion and grace.
Now Rosa is slowly — one person at a time — helping to change the narrative and voicing to others in her circle that it’s OK to reach out and ask for help. “I think these classes are helping not just the person, but the community in a sense, because I can take what I’ve learned and share it with my daughter. And that’s how we are as our culture. If somebody has done something and you know it works, then more people would try it.” Rosa provides hope that each generation can embrace learning a better way to support their mental well-being.
If you feel ready to make some lifestyle changes and want to find out how the Center for Healthy Living can support your mental health, visit the Mental Health and Wellness page on the website for programs and wellness tools.
*Photos show models, not actual program participants.
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